Ring Lardner
Chicago Tribune/December 9, 1913
Only one Wake man, R. W. Lardner, is given a place on the All-American team se- lected by the well known Peru, Ind., expert, Mike Costin. and appearing in a recent issue of the Peru, Ind., Journal. Three University of Chicago players, all of them Perunes; two Notre Dame Stars, also Perunes, and one Purdue dub, Glenn Oliphant, are honored with positions. Other posts are awarded to Willie Nelp of Franklin, Jimmy Kiley of St. Charles’ Parochial school, John Sutton of the Academy of Music of Bunker Hill, and Mr. Costin himself.
The Maroons selected are Whiting, Stutesman, and Redmon. We had no idea the last named lived in Peru, the population of which must be much larger than outsiders dreamed. Art and Dutch Bergman are Notre Dame boys.
Following is Mr. Costin’s team:
Center, John Sutton; right guard, Craig Redmon; left guard. Frank Whiting; right tackle, Frank Stutesman; left tackle, Glenn Oliphant; right end, James Kiley; left end. Art Berg-wan; quarter back, Mike Costin; right half back, Dutch Bergman; left half back, Willie Nelp; full back, RING LARDNER.
Oliphant is shifted from the back field to a tackle position because, in the opinion of Expert Costin. He is no good as a back, but might be all right in the line.
The expert has the following to say about himself:
“No comment is needed on the gentleman selected for quarter back. He is by far the best newspaperman on the team, except Lardner, and can fill more space with less news than any other guy we ever met. He is made captain, manager, coach, assistant coach. treasurer, secretary, groundkeeper, water boy, and any other job that pops up during the course of a battle for All-American honors. Lardner is made press agent, for fear he’d get sore if he was left entirely out of the official job.”
Mr. Costin comments thus on his full back selection, which is the same as was made by Mr. Lardner in his All-Conference eleven:
“At full back is placed Ring Lardner, chauffeur of the Wake of the News column in “The Chicago Tribune.” Although we have never seen Mr. Lardner and never expect to, unless be comes to Peru and visits us, still we know he is a great football player, because he says so himself. He is the best man on the team at advocating uplifts in this great college sport and is the best baseball writer on the team, which is saying a great deal, as look who is playing quarter back. In addition to this, he is the father of the sweetest baby that ever lived, according to him, and be is a fine poker player also. With all these requisites, he couldn’t be slighted in this selection.”
Honorable mention is given to Norgren, Des Jardien. and Gray of Chicago; Shaughnessy and Solon of Minnesota; Butler and Buck of Wisconsin; Dorals, Eichenlaub, Feeney, and Jones of Notre Dame; Routh and Glossop of Purdue; Brickley, Mahan, Bradlee, and Coolidge of Harvard; Streit, Wilson, Ketcham, and Walter Camp Sr. of Yale; Llewellyn and Ghee of Dartmouth; O’Hearne of Cornell, and Craig and Hughitt of Michigan.
***
The Maywood players refused to finish their game against Melrose Park team when Bosco threatened to eat ’em alive
Next year’s Penn State captain is W. O. Tobin of California, Pa.. the other inhabitant of which is Bert Humphries.
***
“Gee, I wish we had gone into the conference,” said a Michigan man after reading those resolutions.
The gent who drew up said resolutions least had a sense of shame. He kept his Identity a secret.
***
THIS MIGHT HAVE BEEN.
“Are you going to see The Fight?”
“No. The trip up and there and back spoils It for me. Besides, he’s no match for Packey.”
***
All that remains for Prep is to pick a consolation team of high school players, naming those who are left off his other squads, if there are enough of them to form an eleven.
The Archive 